5 Lessons From Previous Break Ups
While a lot of guys may not be so quick to admit it, I have been dumped by a lot of women over the years. Perhaps you have, too; maybe not. Either way, I’m a firm believer in learning from the mistakes of other people. With that in mind, I’d like to share some things that I have learned from the women who have dumped me, in the hopes that it will help your relationship go more smoothly.
Lesson #1: Share and share alike. What this means is that each person is likely to blame the other for the break up. But the truth is that you both contributed to the break up in some way. By taking an honest look at what went wrong, and your role in it, you can make a conscious effort to avoid making the same mistakes in the future.
Lesson #2: Women still need their space. As a guy it may seem that women always like to snuggle and cuddle and that they are always around. But they still need some time alone. To make things worse, a lot of guys can be possessive and try to know what their partner is up to at all times. And if you have had a woman that was unfaithful in the past, then this tendency is even stronger. While that may be the case, by doing this you are showing distrust, and no relationship can survive in that kind of atmosphere. So, even though it can be hard, do your best to let your girlfriend do the things she likes to do, and don’t feel that you always have to give her the third degree about what she’s doing.
Lesson #3: Time heals. The first few days after a break up are the absolute worst. After that, you will start to come to terms with what happened. Sure, there will emotional ups and downs, but it will get easier as time goes on. If it doesn’t, then it may be a good idea to see a qualified counselor to help you. You can also use this pain in the future by reminding yourself it’s easier to work on the tough problems while you are in the relationship than it is to suffer through a break up.
Lesson #4: Accept the facts. When first starting a relationship, you may feel as though you have found your soulmate. You were even imagining a wonderful future together, and may have even talked about it. But, over time, things start to go downhill. You start to wonder what you ever saw in her, and she probably feels the same way about you. Then you break up. Now you don’t just feel bad about splitting up, you also feel bad about missing out on the future you imagined. However, remember that it’s better to end things now if it really wasn’t meant to be.
Lesson #5: Happiness isn’t an accident. To put it another way: Relationships take work. You can’t just let stuff happen to you, you have to take responsibility for making it what you want it to be. This may be the most important lesson of all.
4 Tips To Get Over An Ex
Having a relationship come to an end isn’t any fun, and anybody that tells you differently is either lying or delusional. If you have been through a break up, then you are not alone; it happens to almost everybody at least once in their lives. But trying to get over an ex can be a lot harder to deal with than the break up itself. The good news is that there are things you can do to get on with your life.
1. Let it out. You’re human and you have feelings. However, keeping them bottled up will only lead to trouble of one kind or another. It can effect your health, or you may take out your negative feelings on people who had nothing to do with your break up. Therefore, it’s important let your feelings out and to find positive ways to express them. A good way to do this is to write a letter to your ex. Say everything you can think of, call them names, tell them off, pour your heart out. Feel free to write anything, because nobody will ever read it. Once the letter is done, burn it. This exercise works on many different levels and will help you to get over the break up.
2. Get rid of the reminders. The longer you have been involved in a relationship, the more stuff you will have that reminds you of your ex. It’s okay to keep them if you really want to, but put them out of sight for a while. Store them in an attic, or see if a trusted friend or family member can take them. You can get the stuff back once you are sure you are over your ex.
3. Use a support network. This is just a fancy way of saying you have family and friends that care about you. They want what’s best for you, so be sure to go to them when you need somebody to talk to. Be careful to not overdo it to the point of being a nuisance, but don’t be afraid to talk to them either. Sometimes just talking to somebody is all it takes to start moving on.
4. Live your life. While you may be focusing on the negative aspects of breaking up, there are some positive points as well. One of those is that you are no longer limited by your ex. If you want to start a new hobby or take a long dreamed of vacation, then nobody’s stopping you. Go out with friends and have some fun. Not only will you have a blast, but it will also help you to get your mind off your ex.
It won’t always be easy, but you can move on. Following the tips above will put you on the right track to get over an ex. Give it time and stick with it; you will be happier than ever and that will make all of your efforts worthwhile.
4 Lessons From Break Ups
So, you’ve gone through a break up? Perhaps it’s your first, perhaps it’s just one of many. Either way, you are not alone. I have been dumped far more times than I care to admit. However, I have also learned some really good lessons during those failed relationships, lessons that prevented my current relationship from coming to an end…and trust me, it was very rocky at times. With that in mind, here are some of those lessons. Use them to get back together, or stay together with the person you live.
Lesson #1 – Nobody operates in a vacuum. What that means is that neither one of you are 100% to blame for the problems you may be having. You can’t waste time playing the blame game because you need to work on improving yourself first. After all, you can’t force your mate to do whatever you want, even if it’s for the good of the relationship. That being said, you can certainly influence their behavior by the things you say and do.
Lesson #2 – We all need some space every now and then. Even the happiest, most committed of couples need some breathing room once in a while. Don’t take it personally if your partner wants to be alone. And don’t feel guilty if you’re the one that needs some free time. It doesn’t mean the two of you don’t love each other, it just means you’re human. The last thing you want to do is smother each other. If you find that you are having a hard time with this idea, then it’s either because you have trust issues, or separation anxiety. Whatever the case may be, you will need to work on these things if they’re a problem.
Lesson #3 – Time heals. Maybe it doesn’t heal all wounds completely, but it sure can take the edge off. This applies to you if you’re trying to get over a break up. You may feel incredibly hurt right now, but it will get better as time goes on. It also applies if you are having problems in your current relationship. You may be arguing, not getting along, or holding a grudge, but give each other some time to cool off and things will get better.
Lesson #4 – Some things were meant to be. While we can control a lot of what happens in our lives, we can’t control all of it. Accepting that fact will keep you much happier. Maybe you were in a break up a few years ago, and you still wonder about what could have been if you would have tried harder to work things out. The answer is…well, who knows. But that’s the point. It’s also one of the most important lessons I’ve learned. The key is to try as hard as you can to get your ex back if your relationship has failed. That way you won’t be wondering “what if” for the rest of your life.
Can You Pass: Divorce Quiz Avoidance?
Divorce Quiz #4
As children come into the relationship. there will be some changes, Depending on the child or course, you may find that the sacrifices you make are not the way you wanted to live. Part of this is getting used to the added responsibility of another child. In time, you will have this routine down cold to. But until then, plan some time to at least commemorate your wedding anniversary. You should not pass that up.
It takes two people to make a relationship work. If one of you are the consistent driver of the relationship, it is easy to feel taken for granted if the other party makes little to no contribution toward your marital relationship workload.
